Caravan testing is not all it's cracked up to be
- Thursday, 24 January 2008
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Reviewing caravans for a living must feature in many people's top 10 Dream Jobs, along with Restaurant Critic or Holiday Resort Mystery Shopper. It's something I enjoy a great deal, but sometimes it's just not all it's cut out to be.
Do you remember my blog entry about the caravan lost at sea? I was meant to be doing the 'Help Us to Buy' feature for the April issue, but the second caravan was lost by the importer. Which means that this weekend I have five caravans to play with; two 'Help Us to Buy' features and a two-page Caravan Test.
Most of the vans here are the very same vans you see at the shows, so we're not allowed to cook in them, or use the washroom. But one of them, a smart Bailey Senator Series 6, was promised as a full 'live-in'. It sounds great doesn't it, living in brand new vans all the time. But of course that means I had to stop off where my own Sterling Elite is in storage and box up and empty out all the pots, pans, crockery, cutlery, and bedding, which added two hours to my trip to the CCC site at Kingsbury Water Park near Tamworth. I got here at seven in the evening.
As I don't have a TV at home, I was looking forward to settling in, doing myself a caravan dinner of beans on toast, and watching George Gently on the Bailey's built-in telly. I'm a sucker for 1960s dramas, especially if they involve motorbikes and gritty British Culture of the time.
I arrive to find my four vans (one is missing, but it turns up the next day) standing in the cold and dark, and make a beeline for my Senator. After finding the lead I plug in the mains, only to discover than the only light that I can get to work is the awning light. At least the heating works. Undeterred, I try to play with the telly, but after much routing about in the dark I can’t find the remote, which means I can't even switch the TV on.
By now, after a six hour journey, I am tired, cold, hungry, and more than a little fed up. And my caravan doesn't work. I end up shuffling over to the other Bailey we have on test, a Pageant, to find that this van is all in working order. So... uncoil the lead, plug it in, get the gas on, put the legs down… you know the procedure. Again. And every time I go in, it's Boots Off at the Door.
But the Pageant is not a live-in van. So I can sleep and work in one van, and eat in the dark in the other. I decide to move in to the Pageant, at least I have lights in there, and resign myself to an Indian takeaway (what a shame!) and using the site's shower block. In January. Thank heavens (or, to be more precise, Greenfield House in Coventry) for the underfloor heating in KWP’s showers!
The question is now, do I unpack in the non live-in Pageant with lighting or wait till the next day and see if we get the lights working in the Senator?
I ponder the question over a vegetable byriani with dansak sauce, and decide that the best thing to do is simply to go to bed in the Pageant. I do so, and sleep for an incredible 11 hours without stirring.
So the next time you turn up on site with your own van and have it set up with the dinner going within half and hour of arriving, think of me taking three hours to get only partly set-up, and then having no washroom or loo facility in the van. In January. Reviewing caravans is a dream job, but only when it goes well. Which is surprisingly rare.
